Love Hate Love by Alice In Chains: Very Relatable!

I was listening to one of my favourite bands, Alice In Chains, and the highly emotional track below stirred my thoughts. I watched the live performance (see bottom) and was blown away.

I immediately thought of the psychological struggle with my BPD/EUPD. My God. The lyrics in bold font burned into my mind. I certainly love, hate, love myself and want to be protected from myself by those who are close to me.

It’s a very challenging and confusing existence but on good days, I can feel really happy. This happiness will fluctuate throughout the day as my emotions continue to ride a perpetual rollercoaster. Up, down, straight and a wild loop-the-loop. Then erratically repeat.

Music helps me validate my own current emotional status. I tailor playlists to how I’m feeling and sing along. It’s actually a really helpful exercise, like a CBT technique.

Music and videogames. Can’t beat them.

I tried to love you
I thought I could
I tried to own you
I thought I would

I want to peel the skin from your face
Before the real you lays to waste
You told me I’m the only one
Sweet little angel
You should have run

Lying, crying, dying to leave
Innocence creates my hell
Cheating myself
Still, you know more
It would be so easy
With a whore

Try to understand me, little girl
My twisted passion to be your world
Lost inside my sick head
I live for you but I’m not alive
Take my hand before I kill
I still love you, but, I still burn

Love, hate, love
Love, hate, love
Love, hate, love
Oh love, hate, love
Love, hate, love