The Struggle Is Too Real

Some relationships are impossible. Really impossible. Not with spouses, partners, friends or family. That eternal relationship with yourself. Born this way, made that way, social construction or simply a major malfunction. Feels like the latter.

You’re encouraged to reflect on the positive etc etc etc but positive thinking won’t rid you of your inner reality. It masks a moment or two briefly but soon you feel your pains creeping across your body like sadistic grinning spiders. My legs are currently hairier than a tarantula’s, I realise with amusement.

Coping well is hard. So much harder than people realise. When I was healthier and carefree my mind didn’t register difficulties. I was too hellbent on adventure and having a laugh. I imagine that applies to most and it’s certainly not a bad thing. It’s life. My biggest stress back then was ensuring my bike tyres were pumped up enough.

I’ve got a folder full of mindful exercises and a textbook of we-know-best exercises. Plus other literature on my other afflictions but I can’t be bothered reading the stark black and white text that’s very clinical and kinda negative. I have to cope. Look on the bright side. The right side. “Watch less horror movies” was one piece of well-meaning advice. Point definitely not taken though because the funny thing about horror/thrillers is that by the time the end credits roll you think thank goodness my life’s not that bad.

Whenever I have a moment I sing the EMF song below to shut myself up or tell my physical symptoms where to go.

The things you say…
You’re so unbelievable…
What the f*ck?

It’s more helpful for me to sing it out of my system and then work on being less harsh on myself rather using any textbook or print out.

Plus the combination of coffee and adrenaline is fantastic for motivation!

I sing this to myself about myself

© Copyright: Sharon Lawson™

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