Ever since for as long as forever I’ve never managed to stick to the path when writing about a specific subject. Maybe I’m averse to the restraints of the concept specific. Shackled brings to mind Michael Palin’s amusing “Lucky Bastard!” character in The Life of Brian, I love his ranting. I relate to his ranting. Ha ha especially when I attended my CBT and CAT appointments.
We started to “explore” various topics so things started of rather sane, calm, my posture relaxed in the salmon pink chairs as I sipped my plastic cup of gratis water and answered questions I was asked every week. I found myself answering in an almost predictable robotic tone of voice. Even though these psychoanalytical wellbeing prompts were to benefit me, I got bored! Bored of the 1 – 10 scale, the strongly agree/strongly disagree charts and recapping my often monotonous weekly activities. How long can you discuss managing to go for a walk and it’s mental health effects? About ten minutes then I deviate. The path I went a walk on has a little trail leading off somewhere so off I go exploring. And I ALWAYS “put my foot in it”. I don’t buy that, how do you know various aspects of people’s lives?
Life ahead of me looks like an intriguing path in between a blanket of bluebells in an enchanted forest. It’s yearning to be skipped along and all nooks and crannies explored. I’m like my nutter of a spaniel, Haggis, God rest her soul. Scampering around like a lunatic after drinking too much Sunny Delight. Life isn’t one subject at a time, it just can’t be. Can it? Should it? At weddings and funerals, granted, but that’s borderline because inquisitive minds roam away from the most sombre of occasions.
I read this: The conditions most commonly linked to racing thoughts are bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, sleep deprivation, amphetamine dependence, and hyperthyroidism.
So is my anxiety which is a comorbidity of already existing problems the cause of my inability to remain focused and with full attention? Maybe. Or perhaps I simply get bored easily by nature. Normal old human nature. How dull.
In the Catatonia song For Tinkerbell, there’s the line: “Forgive me if I seem to be impatient and obscene”
Yes, sums things up well!
My kettle and Playstation are beckoning me and I can’t think how to conclude this so until the next time we say goodbye.
© Copyright: Sharon Lawson™