Shackled By One Subject


Ever since for as long as forever I’ve never managed to stick to the path when writing about a specific subject. Maybe I’m averse to the restraints of the concept specific. Shackled brings to mind Michael Palin’s amusing “Lucky Bastard!” character in The Life of Brian, I love his ranting. I relate to his ranting. Ha ha especially when I attended my CBT and CAT appointments.

We started to “explore” various topics so things started of rather sane, calm, my posture relaxed in the salmon pink chairs as I sipped my plastic cup of gratis water and answered questions I was asked every week. I found myself answering in an almost predictable robotic tone of voice. Even though these psychoanalytical wellbeing prompts were to benefit me, I got bored! Bored of the 1 – 10 scale, the strongly agree/strongly disagree charts and recapping my often monotonous weekly activities. How long can you discuss managing to go for a walk and it’s mental health effects? About ten minutes then I deviate. The path I went a walk on has a little trail leading off somewhere so off I go exploring. And I ALWAYS “put my foot in it”. I don’t buy that, how do you know various aspects of people’s lives?

Life ahead of me looks like an intriguing path in between a blanket of bluebells in an enchanted forest. It’s yearning to be skipped along and all nooks and crannies explored. I’m like my nutter of a spaniel, Haggis, God rest her soul. Scampering around like a lunatic after drinking too much Sunny Delight. Life isn’t one subject at a time, it just can’t be. Can it? Should it? At weddings and funerals, granted, but that’s borderline because inquisitive minds roam away from the most sombre of occasions.

I read this: The conditions most commonly linked to racing thoughts are bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, sleep deprivation, amphetamine dependence, and hyperthyroidism.

So is my anxiety which is a comorbidity of already existing problems the cause of my inability to remain focused and with full attention? Maybe. Or perhaps I simply get bored easily by nature. Normal old human nature. How dull.

In the Catatonia song For Tinkerbell, there’s the line: “Forgive me if I seem to be impatient and obscene”

Yes, sums things up well!

My kettle and Playstation are beckoning me and I can’t think how to conclude this so until the next time we say goodbye.

© Copyright: Sharon Lawson™

4 thoughts on “Shackled By One Subject

  1. Haha – my depression sends me to the opposite end of the spectrum. I’m more like, hmm, have to dredge up enough thought for one subject… come back when you’re done exploring the forest, maybe I’ll have something for you. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

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