Are You Shy Hitting ‘Publish’?

How long have you been blogging? Are you a professional who uses it as a valuable tool to reach out to a target audience or are you a casual used who uses it, for example, for therapeutic benefits? And so on.

I’m a complete novice at writing online and still feel really shy when I hit that red Publish button. I hover over it like when I used to stand on the edge of a riverbank in my youth powering up my courage to leap (or wade) into the freezing water. “In my youth”? I still feel in my youth! Why do we sat that, why not simply” when I used to… “. I digress as usual!

So yes, I’m not a professional writer and only completed Scottish Standard Grade and Higher Grade English education at a regular level. I haven’t been to college or university and my previous three jobs’ training was then done on site save for a really boring lecture on autoclaves! Haha I was staring at the ceiling on that day. Autoclaves are THESE. Fascinating huh? I imagine many people here are just like me and probably feel equally overwhelmed too, intimidated even. But like all art forms, writing included, they are taught over time either by an establishment or experience. You choose your main niche and stick to it as best as you can. It’s so easy to go composition off roading and talk about something else but usually everything ties back in with your subject.

My main niche being my self-perceived stigma: borderline personality disorder and poor health with as much encouragement as possible added to the mix to basically identify the fact that nobody is alone. No-one. No matter what you’re experiencing right now, no matter how dark your thoughts or what you are physically and mentally experiencing: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. So to give everyone a ghost hug and sometimes have a good old rant, I started this blog. My psychological services suggested it because I enjoyed composition at school. Beats bloody cleaning moss off graves which I did at gardening therapy. There was a beautiful church beside the beautiful Lewisham hospital HERE and the project at the time was grave renovation. I found it hilarious, me and my suicidal psych mates scraping moss off graves!!! There’s something darkly funny in that but it can’t put it into words. We found it amusing anyway so guess the therapy did it’s job in raising our spirits.

I jot down single sentence ideas on anything to hand and then hopefully elaborate at a later stage. It’s not easy though and my cyber coyness results in hitting Select All then Delete. Even online, my anxieties and low self-esteem holds me back. I’m a drop in the ocean of WordPress users and amount to nothing really. So I torture my confidence with. This is a truth to some extent. Pictorial social media and family and friend focused Facebook are where I feel safe, comfortable.

This is getting negative and not good!! But yes indeed, I am really shy hitting Publish and wondered how many people here feel likewise? It’s a psychological hurdle that should be faced head on like a bull taking his sweet revenge on a matador. Now to click Publish, argh!!!

© Copyright: Sharon Lawson™