Suicide Or A Song


My head hurts. My thoughts hurt. I wish I could go for a walk outside of my mind and inhale the sweet aromas of nature. But I can’t. I have to utilise my book on Dialectical Behavioural Therapy that has it’s front and back covers coloured calming green. I’m sat here with coffee, Kalms and a Tree of Life oil diffuser pendant around my neck. Fragrance “Uplifting” is wafting up my nose. Maybe I should ease off the coffee but nope, it’s my 8th deadly sin. I’m struggling with those thoughts again and it’s not pretty. They’re intrusive and disturbing and are very difficult to banish. Impossible because they’ve existed in my dark side since I was still wearing a My Little Pony vest and matching pants.

We all have those special songs that are private and hold a deep meaning. Our devices, YouTube and Spotify accounts are littered with Likes and playlists full of music that may not be particularly great per se but the lyrics hold the key to your secret. And the song below was played repeatedly yesterday.

This beautifully performed song (below) by Susan Calloway **I think from the video game Final Fantasy IX, (written by Nobuo Uematsu) about remembering the love of another person and how it keeps her going. A love, or indeed a friendship, that wasn’t meant to be but the memories will remain forever in her heart. Every time I listen to it I explode with tears like I do hearing Everybody Hurts by REM.

If I should leave this lonely world behind
Your voice will still remember our melody
Now I know we’ll carry on

© Copyright: Sharon Lawson™

2 thoughts on “Suicide Or A Song

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