Suggested audio to relax with: Weightless by Marconi Union
Note: this was actually symptoms of functional neurological disorder which I have had the unfortunate diagnosis of.
Onset. Am I weird or just feeling weird? Weird is good but THIS good?? The self and the senses blur into one like I’ve been hit up with a thanks-very-much dose of propophol. Momentarily amazing until more of my senses start bordering on the disturbing. Here we go epilepsy\FND count down from three. I wish my Candesartan would reel this in.
Crawling numbness from arm to foot on my left side. Disruption in movement causing me to suddenly feel empathic towards dad’s old Lada trying to scale a minor incline. Nothing against Ladas, to me it was a square version of the iconic VW Beetle. What on earth is happening to me? It’s scary yet strangely funny. I’m hardened to the disruptive behaviours of my anatomy. Or I’m just a strange person. Either way, my leg jerks like an epileptic chicken (ludicrous visualisation can be extremely helpful, trust me) as I heave it from the hip attempting to raise and try to straighten it.
It feels like a stroke or a cheeky lesion somewhere in my right lobe or “metabolic derangement”. Am I derranged even? Serious mental disturbances do screw up my days and I’ve shared quite a few examples here on my blog. Fast forward to the next day and I rang my GP. She listened patiently and asked concise questions before deeming the incident a hemiplegic migraine. Oooooooooh I suddenly realised, I’ve possibly had a few of these before and used to literally throw myself to the floor in sadistic amusement. Old diaries of brief hospital visits since 1996 reading, “transient stroke”, “mini stroke”, “unknown” suddenly made sense. What about that month long “unknown cerebral event” whilst in a pleasant hospital in Bangor, North Wales?
Hmm, I guess that’s another disasterpiece.
Note: this was actually symptoms of functional neurological disorder which I have had the unfortunate diagnosis of.
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